Thursday, June 28, 2012

I Can't Believe I'm Admitting This...

   So, as many of you know, I spent about 2.5 years living in a little town in western Minnesota while working as a law clerk for the two coolest judges imaginable.  Being the self-proclaimed city girl that I am, I spent a good chunk of that time irritated and uncomfortable because rural life just doesn't work for me.  I need a Target within a 10 mile radius.  I need there to be more than 2 stop-lights in my town.  I need to go to the grocery store and not run into 3 people that I know.  Driving to Alexandria from Morris just to shop is unacceptable.  I escaped nearly every weekend to the Twin Cities, and I couldn't wait to escape the small-town feel of it all.  Then finally, the day came when I was offered a job back in the metropolitan mecca I'd been lusting after for nearly three years.  I moved back to St. Paul, and thought I'd never look back.  Until today.

   Last night I had a very vivid dream that I moved back to Morris.  To my old apartment.  And I was ECSTATIC about it.  I remember thinking the move was so easy because I knew exactly where to put all my furniture.  I even remember planning out how I was going to surprise my Morris friends with the news that I had returned.  What.  The.  Fork.  This is not me.

   My apartment in Morris was certainly not the newest or most desirable living situation, but I made the place my own, and actually grew to like my surroundings (despite my creepy neighbor...).  It was quiet and it was cute, and I was actually proud of the home I'd made there.  I had some great times in that apartment, and met some of my closest friends there.  Its no wonder that now I dream about it and remember it with happy memories.  So, as evidenced by this blog post, my dream got me to thinking today.  And thinking led to realization.  I realized that I actually *gasp* LIKED living in Morris.  And that I actually *DOUBLE GASP* miss it.  Yeah.  You read that correctly.

   Now I'm not saying that I am going to run out and move back.  I have a great living situation right now with an awesome roommate, and I have a new job that I like, and I am working toward a(nother) graduate degree, so things are going pretty well right now.  But I just can't help but wonder what it would have been like had I stayed...  It was chatting with a good Morris friend this evening that kind-of brought out this nostalgic moment.  To my ladies from Morris, I just want you to know that I love you all, and you made my time living in your town more amazing than I ever could have expected.  I really want to make it a point to come back and visit a bit more often, and partake in the exotic wonders that are rural Minnesota life... freezing cold holiday parades, bar hopping in Lisa's camper, wrangling feral cats, duck farts, kissing random Coborn's cashiers (You know who you are, M), and having sidewalk parties in front of my apartment at 3am. 

   So really, this little epiphany has made me learn something about myself.  I've realized that I tend to yearn for the future, and don't focus on the awesome things I have in front of me right now.  Had I changed this attitude during my time in Morris, I could have saved myself so much frustration.  I had it good there.  I had a good job, amazing friends, and I earned quite a few ridiculous stories along the way.  So here's to focusing on the present, and learning to enjoy what I've got.  And to all you Morris-ites out there, I miss you and we need to plan a Morris-extravaganza soon.

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