Sunday, January 1, 2012

Yessss.... a New Year. FINALLY.

   Happy 2012, world!  After having rung in the new year like the old person that I am, with a few appetizers and some "Planet Earth" with a good friend, and then in bed (by myself, don't be gross) before midnight, I have to say that I am probably one of the happiest people on the planet to see 2011 go.  I won't go into a ton of painful detail, but I think I can honestly say that 2011 will go down in my history book as pretty much my worst year to date.  Riddled with a death in the family, significant personal drama that pretty much destroyed me, and a host of other crap-tastic events, I am very happy to see that as of today, a new year has begun and I can start fresh and hope for a better year ahead.  And, let's face it, it won't take much for 2012 to be an improvement on 2011.

   So with this background in mind, I am not going to list off resolutions or anything (mostly because I think resolutions are largely forgotten and swept under the carpet by about January 24 anyway).  But I am going to be a bit corny and sentimental (which I know is a little out of character for this blog, so you'll just have to deal) and talk about the things for which I am grateful and for which I am looking forward to in the coming year.  So, Ninnymuggins, quit gagging over there and embrace the mushiness...

   First, I am eternally grateful for the love and support of my family and friends (most of whom I consider family anyway).  Without them, I am sure that I would not have survived 2011 and all of its atrocities.  I think that I would likely be just a pathetic mass of carbon-based material sitting in the corner of her apartment, rocking back and forth and chewing on her hair.  So thank you to everyone who helped make sure that I was still breathing and surviving when I needed that help.

   Next, I can honestly say that I am pretty stoked about going back to school in a couple of weeks!  When I graduated from law school, I vowed to NEVER AGAIN enter into an academic institution for the purposes of learning.  I was convinced that I was done with the whole world of universities, and since graduation caps look RIDICULOUS on me, I would never don one again.  Well, guess not.  I have finally figured out that I don't want to be a lawyer when I grow up (nice realization after having attended LAW SCHOOL, right?)  But that law degree will not have been earned in vain as I have discovered that instead, I want to be a law librarian when I grow up.  Seriously.  At age 29, I feel that I finally have the right answer to that irritating question of what one wants to become.  However, this does involve (you guessed it) MORE SCHOOL.  Although now that the pain, humiliation, and eviscerated self-esteem from law school have mostly healed, the idea of heading back to academia seems fun and exciting again.  My textbooks for spring semester came from Amazon the other day and I just about squeaked with excitement.  Long story short, I'm going back to school and I'm proud of it.  Bring on the homework.  Let the dorkiness prevail.

   2012 is also about bringing back something that I lost over the course of this past year.  I am regaining control of my own life.  In 2011 I lost control over just about everything.  My finances, my health, my self-esteem, and my relationships.  It is amazing the havoc that one individual can wreak on a girl's life.  But now that the destructive catalyst has been removed, I am taking my life back.  Period.  In every respect.

   Finally, I am just grateful to have found myself again.  I didn't recognize the person I had become in 2011.  She was not the girl I was raised to be and certainly not the girl that I wanted to be, but yet she crept in and took over anyway.  She was definitely a dumb girl that wouldn't stand up for herself, and couldn't recognize bad things and warning signs around her.  But through the help of the above-mentioned family and friends, I do believe that girl has left the building, and I have returned to myself.  It took seeing one of my best friends for the first time in more than a year to shake me out of my stupor, and (figuratively) slap me around a bit to get me to wake up.  To this friend, you know who you are, thank you for saving me from drowning.

   So enough of this serious, mushy crap.  Bottom line is that I am excited to be rid of 2011 and for the fresh start that 2012 is bringing.  This year will be an amazing year and I am excited for its possibilities.  2012 is the year that I will begin my Master's program, the year that I turn 30 (and have a huge party to celebrate), the year that I reach certain health goals, and the year that I re-find and re-become myself again.  Happy new year!!

1 comment:

  1. High five! 2012 is gonna kick 2011's sorry little craptastic ass!! :)

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