Demon Birdies

   As a former world-class late sleeper, I am not particularly tolerant of what most people would consider minor annoyances waking me up in the morning.  As anyone who has shared a residence with me can attest, I am not the most pleasant person in the mornings.  When woken up by something other than an alarm clock, it could be said that I am something less than charming to interact with.  There is usually some kind of growling, hissing, and throwing of objects when I am woken up by someone or something not of my doing (alarm clocks hold a slightly different rank of hatred in my world).

   For instance, I was informed that while living in a flat with 5 other people during a study abroad program in London, that everyone was terrified of being the one who had to wake me up.  I apparently instill that much fear in my roommates upon awakening.  Also, there is something about the last 10 minutes that one gets to sleep in the morning.  That time is sacred.  It is as if you are cheating the world by lying in bed when you technically could  get up, but you just don't feel like it yet.  Damn the man!  I cherish these minutes so much, that I purposely set my alarm at least 40 minutes early so that I can hit snooze several times, and exacerbate that feeling of getting away with something illicit...

   With this background in mind, consider my reaction when I wake nearly every morning these days to the incessant chirping and rustling about of birds, INSIDE THE VENT in my bedroom.  Right above my bed.  Seriously.  I'm surprised I haven't found feathers and bird excrement on my bed.  I've been awoken in such a manner an average of 3 mornings per week for the past 5 months.  The birdie awakening instills in me an instant homicidal rage that is very difficult to shake when that is the very first emotion I register in the mornings.

  Upon further investigation, I have seen the rotten little buggers flying in and out of the soffit of my apartment.  From there I'm sure they have tunneled themselves into the heat/A-C vent and essentially into my bedroom where they become the incessant-morning-awakening-committee.  I am really not sure how to remedy this, but I am hoping that once the heat comes on, they will either figure out that it is time to fly south for the winter, they will refuse to go in the vent because it is too hot, or they will become little birdie BBQ in there and I will be able to sleep in peace.  I'm hoping for the latter...